January 9, 2012

Diary Series: Clif Carroll, Asst. Coach - Lamar

Over the past two months I have encountered some experiences that will last with me for a lifetime.  This is my first experience in NCAA Division I basketball and all that we have done has really made an impression on me.  I am trying to soak up every little detail I can.  I can honestly say that I have been in a whirlwind along with Gumbo, Pirates, and Twitter Messages from Kentucky fans, and well wishes from the faithful fans of Bob Knight across the nation.

Every New Year’s Eve I skip the chaos of the bars and parties, choosing to stay in.  It is my tradition to get a good meal in me (Floyd’s Gumbo this year), reflect over what I have done the past year, make aspirations for what I want to do next year, and then write a little essay about my current state of mind.  While only a few people in my book club (The RRBC) will ever be privy to that essay, I thought it would be neat to give the readers of this blog a look into where I came from and what my mindset is now.

Two summers ago I had serious doubts as to whether I could ever make a living in this business.  I was tearing down a barn in the West Texas town of Meadow in order to make extra money to supplement my anemic paycheck.  I was almost two years married to my wife Beth and we were living in an apartment in a student housing development at Collin College in Plano, TX making just enough money to make it. 

I had an agreement with the apartments that I would act like a quasi RA/Maintenance Man in exchange for free rent.  It was a common day for me to wrench on a toilet in the mornings before going into the office and then break up beer bashes after a night of scouting.  I was tired and beat down after being turned down for several jobs that I had been very hopeful to get. 

It was by dumb luck that I latched on as a student manager for Bob Knight at Texas Tech (another story for another blog).  I grew up in a town of 500 people and didn’t have the God given talent to play college basketball.  My father wasn’t a coach, he raised cattle and cotton.  It wasn’t a natural choice for me to be a coach.  I didn’t have any contacts in the business. 

I did know, however, that I wasn’t going to be a farmer.  Let me tell you, we all complain that our careers rest on the backs of volatile 18 to 23 year old kids.  Try getting on your knees every night and praying for rain and without that rain your crop won’t come in and you can’t feed your family.  I’ll take relying on the kids over Mother Nature everyday of the week.    

I’m sitting on a John Deere 790 ripping the guts out of a barn that has stood in my hometown for close to 80 years, trying to think of any reason why I should keep coaching.  I have spent my entire career coaching in Junior College, and have been quite successful.  I owned a NJCAA National Championship ring and several conference championship banners, yet if you combined every dime I earned coaching, you couldn’t buy Hyundai.  I had several prospects of being hired, but it seemed that I was always passed over for a former player, or that someone’s father called in a favor to a buddy.  I was discouraged and tired. 

I was an underdog.

I collected my $2500 check (almost half a year’s salary) after the 10 days it took me to demolish the barn and clean the site.  I kissed my mother goodbye and headed back to Plano. The only reason I had to go back was faith and belief that I would catch a break.  That, and the fact that I had a great boss in Jim Sigona and a great team coming in the next year.  Someone, something told me that it was going to be my year. 

Just over a year later I was wearing a crispy new Lamar Polo while I drove my brand new Ford F150 pickup truck to the brand new gas station in Meadow, TX which sat on the site which the old barn I cleared once sat.  I called to check in on my pregnant wife in our new house.  I was on my way to see my old foes in JUCO practice in hopes of convincing some of their players to come play for us at Lamar. 

Some say I have made it in the business.  I would argue that I’m still the underdog and underdogs never truly make it.  I have to keep the faith and the belief in myself, and continue to make it every day.  I give gratitude to all of the people that were with me and will continue with me on my way.  With a little dumb luck, even a country boy from Meadow, TX can break into the business.  It just takes a little faith and belief.

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